“As always, I’ve always tried to witness the happenings around me in a positive way. And in some utterly negative cases, I’d like to be proud of my positivity. But even the greatest of optimists have a weak point, and I guess I got hit right there, which led to the downfall of all my feelings. Today, I listen to the last music of my life with a hope so pessimistic that I will never be able to see the world thereafter.”
A Few Days Ago…
Standing on a corner of the street with a bike an evening, he was talking to his friend. He asked a passerby, ‘Hey, new bike?’ The passerby had not much intension to speak. He nodded and rode by.
‘Hey, wasn’t that Ken?’ he asked his friend.
‘Yeah, going all lucky, I see.’ His friend replied. ‘Perhaps, how are you feeling, you know, about the result day? I feel it is going to be okay.’
‘I’m gonna fail anyway.’
‘Don’t say that. We will all do well, you’ll see.’
In utter negativity, he sighed for he knew what he had done. Trying to be as positive as he could, he just kept silent.
They rode back home at 7 PM.
“I know I am selfish. Now, what can I do? I guess I’ll just keep listening to the music. Let’s wait for some time.”
For a country where examinations are everything, where people judge a person’s success by his results, where it is better to be non-existent than fail in an examination, nothing seemed reassuring other than quit.
Three Days Ago…
“Yeah, everyone is excited about it. What do ‘ya think? Something good is probably going to happen. God give us all good outcome.” …said another guy whom he barely knew. Everyone’s talk of the day was the day of 31st. No one knew there would be a greater incident to witness that day.
He had saved some money to buy a gift for his friend, whom he owed some cash and wanted to thank him for all he has done. He went to the shop, bought a nice gift and a card, asked for some gift wrap and went back home.
As he rode around he saw his mom, who had locked the door and was going inside. He spent the night on a chair outside his house.
“I hope anyone doesn’t remember me. And for all those who do, may I be remembered more as a lesson learnt than a person. May brother get from mother what I didn’t. May he not be a failure like me…”
The light was fading. The locked door was not even knocked once. He stared on the blank wall and saw memories – memories of his sweet childhood, his friends playing together, the high hopes he had of his future, and the final love that he did not get from the only person he had been crushing on for a few months; but what mattered most was the underlying reason behind the thin porous layer of those memories – a depressing truth that was left hidden in his heart, which he never thought would come to him ever. Yet life seemed to have other plans…
The Day Before…
May God bless us all. Wish you all best of luck for tomorrow. – a WhatsApp message circulated around our friend circle. This had been almost a week that such messages came in numbers rushing into the phone, but it was at the peak that day. Out of frustration, I had already switched off the mobile data and turned the phone to silent. I did not want to be disturbed while I played NFS.
Everyone was excited for the day after. What good news would come? Everyone was curious enough to even be friendly with their arch nemeses in hope that God will show mercy.
This morning, I saw everyone – some in anticipation, some with great expectation, some begging for God’s mercy – though I failed to notice that someone was just hoping for survival. And how would I know? I didn’t even get out of my house since I knew that I would be showered with meaningless comments on the way from people I didn’t even talk a few times in my life. A decent result – that is what I expected. The results were out. Though not meeting my expectations, I was content with what I had secured.
As I was being called by numerous people on phone, a WhatsApp messaged appeared – “Wish you a happy life ahead. Good bye, friend.”
“Gift package – I hope my friend likes it. Message – sent. Letter – wrote, I hope I am remembered as a mistake and my brother gets a better life and love which he deserves. I am sorry, mother (sobbing). I am sorry for doing it, but you ought to know, I have no options. Nothing to expect from life anymore…”
A person suddenly vanished from my life that day.
Did he sacrifice for nothing?