Am I The Stereotyped Average Indian?

I had always been flown along the path I never chose to go. Though emotionally forceful in fact, but had a positive outcome in all aspects. So positive that I ought to tell other people when they ask, “Yeah, I thought… (so and so) and that is why I did… (so and so). As the turn comes to my heart, I know deep-down that it was not a phenomenon I could control.

My decisions have sometimes made be question myself, “Am I the typical Indian Stereotypic Guy that every Indian parent longs to have?” The answer is ambiguous in reality.

I am not a stereotype, at least not because of my own choices. I want to be an engineer because I have a passion for it, and not because my parents want me to. Instead, they never ever rejected or modified or suggested in any way that I should go for something else or that engineering is not worth it. I do not fall in good terms with Medical Science because I simply do not like it. I have given very deep thoughts in this subject and it feels Greek to me. Trust me, I’d even learn Greek but not pursue Medical Science.

Also read: Dark Deductions: Moments of Thought. Clearer reasons on why software and engineering feels like ‘home’ to me.

By this time, you might have got an idea of me – what I want and about the choices I never made before. Honestly, I find it very normal to be asked by someone why I chose my subject, but find it extremely savage to be told that since something doesn’t yield good salary (ranging between crores per annum), you don’t have a future. Who thought music artists could make so much money a few years ago in my own country? Now, it is very clear, clarifying the meaning of future, that does not depend on the subject, it depends on the person and his efforts.

 

My Inspirations for this Post: Quora.

Lately, I’ve been browsing through my feed to see answers to questions like ‘What is the most Indian thing ever?’ and ‘What is the worst advice/conversation given by/with a random aunt/uncle?’; and I found answers mostly on the ‘engineering and medical’ topic. Most of them were about how parents and neighbours, or even random strangers advise you against following your passions and just qualifying enough for jobs that offer a huge salary. Reading those answers, I felt as if I was one among the engineers-to-be who was being called as stereotyped by the Indians.

 

The Dark Deduction: Moments of Thought

Particularly, every single day of mine starts with an epic adventure – or so I think about in the night before. I expect things to unfold themselves in a positively unique way every day – as they never did. I expect unexpected things to happen every now and then – moments I’ve been waiting for since the last two to five years or so, or just a new idea, a new thought that came in this very moment. Atleast, my life is interesting in my imagination – a private folder which none other than me has access to.

Ninety-nine percent of these assumptions turn ashtray in every moment of thought. Things contradict; they do not follow the law of nature – because our imagination has no limitation. I wish I could turn my world upside-down as I do every day, in my own mind-controlled sandbox.

Things that never were right won’t change now. They were wrong before and still they are, undoubtedly. I wish I could undo my actions – but I can’t. This is the reason I choose myself as a software enthusiast. I love the software environment. There are no laws there. Though certain things have a connection with the reality but I can still think of accomplishing certain goals in software more often than I do in the real world.

The best function I like in software is the ability, the flexibility, the power in our hands to restore things. All you need is a hard drive with enough space like your currently running computer drive and you can store an image of all your data and system and restore it anytime you want. You are demanded no reasons, no confirmation from a superior authority, no bullshit and the computer doesn’t even recognize when its ‘space-time screw’ started spinning reverse, stopped and returned to its normal motion. You know you can do it that easily – because it’s your world. There is no one to interfere, no one to guide and no one to back-stab you and all you need to do is remember and verify the precious credentials you choose for yourself. I know it is way more complicated when you are in a much higher level of respect and resource in the real world, but unless you are an ordinary person like me, trust me there is no one who is that much interested in hacking something he doesn’t even know the contents of. It’s like your own whole new world.

All these years, I had to go through a lot of hardships – academic excellence, rejection from the one person you’ve ever loved, traitors, backstabbing friends, teachers and the people you trusted. The worst part is still left – being in such a world full of hardships and dwelling in it knowing that you couldn’t just quit it, you couldn’t shout ‘enough!’, you couldn’t resist – all you had to do was let these dark forces pass through the pores of your naïve mind, and let your hopeless insides fight against them, still knowing – deep down – that you are going to lose – yet fight hard to survive and finally surrendering to Nature’s Will and giving up hope; collecting your shattered pieces as experiences and storing them as memories, still counting those as ‘sweet’ and finally knowing, for the sake of yourself and all the people you’ve ever loved, that this is: Reality.

Half Girlfriend: Co-incidents and Expectations (The Book & The Movie)

“It is a rare case that I read a story that didn’t coincide with my life.”

Indeed, it is my choice which book I choose to read, and it’s my senses which tell me the story most appealing – which is, in most cases, a collection of incidents that sound familiar to me. Which incidents would sound familiar to me? Probably the one that has occurred in my own life.

But this is a different case – the incident half-coincided, just like the name of the book and the fiction (or maybe reality, it is controversial) in it. Just like the author said, it is a common phenomenon for us. I guess I ultimately fell into the common crowd, one of the things that I am scared being into.

Since primary school, I always wanted to be unique so I avoided the decisions of the common crowd and came up with my own ideas and destinations, but it did not mean that I was alone. There were always a few good friends of mine who complied with me and accompanied me. I was always quoted by my classmates as a very hard to understand guy – and I kind of liked it. The reality didn’t match with my life. It hardly coincided, so I found my life and different parts of it in books, movies and obviously my imagination. Even my love life was not spared from this. Things ended with my crush as though a metaphor of my own words – was she joking? No, she wasn’t. Even if I tell the story, it would seem a lie, completely made in my thoughts – so that is the place where this part resides now.

This time, I saw a part of my life in Chetan Bhagat’s Half Girlfriend. Though I didn’t like the book that much, but it really touched me due to some of the incidents – and of course, growing jealousy towards the main character as he gets so much but still sabotages whatever they had; yet he gets the girl at the end. Trust me, real life isn’t like that. Such coincidents don’t occur at all. And I thought Chetan Bhagat is the voice of the common India. Common Indians love Bollywood doesn’t mean that every coincidence in Bollywood films coincide with their lives. He seems to have mistaken this part of Indians. Being an Indian himself, he clearly destroyed the plot with some clear non-sense and broad unnecessary descriptions taking up pages instead of some meaningful storyline.

I have nothing good to expect from the film too. A movie based on such a plot can be a blockbuster, a hit, but one it shall always share with the book – its meaning, and that is what will make the movie meaningless too.

Innocent (A Poem)

I would not like to describe much about this poem as reading it once is enough to understand it. I just want to say that it is something I truly have experienced many a times, and not imaginary.

 

Innocence does not speak, it sees

Through its eyes – the gleaming paradise

But does it know?

It glimmers due to it’s fading vision.

 

It sees the good in every evil

It believes everyone as its own.

Though its parents warn it not to

Yet it goes somewhere unknown.

 

I don’t say I was innocent,

I don’t say I didn’t lie.

But whatever I did, wherever I went

I saw people talk by.

 

They said I was a show-off

I didn’t mind,

But their words did hurt me

I knew it from inside.

 

It is the outcome of all those pains

That my innocence now speaks, it does not just see

It makes me write this story untold

In the dark, on a computer screen.

My Worst Pain

I am not the kind of guy who would definitely be offended by insulting comments – I take them as mere jokes and let them go. As a kid, I was very aggressive. I used to pick up fights now and then, but I was not a bully. I didn’t pick fights to bully someone else, but because they really offended me. As I grew up, I learned that these fights gave me nothing but pain and a bad reputation. I was not so proud of my acts myself either. Hence I left the path and slowly started calming myself. I led myself to be obsessed with one thing or the other to forget all the harsh times and comments and forgive all those offenders. I really did. From that time onwards, I was never disturbed by anyone’s comments because I believed in myself more than anyone else.

This situation was changed slowly by my entry into puberty. Those mixed expressions and complex emotions. I myself didn’t even know why I suddenly felt angry at something or someone. However I controlled myself by treating myself to the various adventures in life. My mom saw that those days were spent mostly in solitude so I was admitted to an art school, then music and then swimming classes. I kept busy with them so I usually adapted myself to social occasions and never really felt troubled thereafter.

Slowly, in my school, I came closer to friends. And this time there was a girl I had a crush on. I won’t describe about my experience of first crush, it is a widely common topic in the internet these days.

So, I went on and on, never really paid attention to what was inside me. I was in seventh grade when I thought to express my feelings for the girl. This was not an easy commitment and was not just of myself completely. This was brought about by communication, I don’t know why but that girl seemed to like me and even added me in her social circles. Even my friends thought that we had a thing for each-other. Then her news of being in a relationship came out. I didn’t know what to comment. But I passed.

On one side, her rumours came stronger that even I believed those were true and on the other side, we were growing closer. A time came when I was confused by myself as whom I could trust – my observations and personal experience or the widely accepted norms by everyone.

One day, my heart broke. This is the most beautiful pain I’ve ever felt. This was not of anxiety or stress but of relief, relief in the sense that I had got my answer. I still couldn’t believe it, but it was true. I was waiting for her to answer but there was no reply. I was revolving around the same pathway for too long. Then, some things happened, and I sort of gave up.

Do you want to know what her reply was that led me to break off from such a close relation? It was totally metamorphic. She simply compared her then boyfriend with oxygen. I thought Wow! How can one be just to cynical to dispose of such a connection?” It was too hard for me to live for a few days. Maybe it was because I had made my whole world in her – my present and future. This was my painful yet relieving story.

My Anime World

If you are a fan of mystery anime and manga, you must be familiar with Detective Conan, a.k.a. Case Closed, an ongoing Japanese detective manga series by Gosho Aoyama.

Being an Indian, it is pure wonder how I caught up such an anime. Well, for the most simple reasons – starting with being a kid. Like every other kid, my world was filled with cartoons too. Most importantly the funny and wicked ones. Initially, I found amusement in watching Ninja Hattori, Perman, Doraemon, Shin Chan etc. Then I caught up with something more interesting like Power Rangers: Ninja Storm, SPD, Jungle Fury, Dino Thunder, Mystic Force, then RPM, Operation Overdrive – I liked all of them as a kid. But with growing age came distinctions, and from these distinctions came results – which I deduced that most of them were all alike.

It was during my third grade that I watched Detective Conan for the first time, and immediately liked it. The detectivity, the deduction skills, the mystery and none of them was all-alike like the other cartoons.

Other known anime such as Kochikame, Chhota Bheem and all its movies came and went by – but Detective Conan remained intact in my mind. Needless to say, some many important life events also went – first crush, first rejection, academic competitions, art competitions and friendships. My intellect and brain was developed, but the anime-filled kid-brain never changed, it wanted more.

In the subsequent years, I started watching movies, other detective series and once a time had come when the whole anime world had slipped from my mind – from myself. I got obsessed with more complicated activities and hence watched complicated films. I just watched a couple of them but was never content with the feeling they offered me. I was still a minor. I understood things, I understood the films, but in the end what hurts always hurts. You can’t drift from the reality. The consolation I tried to find was not present in those messed-up ideas.

Academic pressure began to increase and so I aborted all entertainment. Believe me, even TV subscription was stopped. But I read really damn hard and so I felt lighter six months later, a month before the final exam. I therefore sought relief from all the stress. I resumed watching movies and all, where roles were played by humans. Then after I realized no such good movie was left to watch. I resorted to animated movies, mostly those of Disney.

As of February, I started watching Detective Conan again. I don’t know what sparked the interest of it in me. Maybe it was a bit of movie research. I am not awkwardly sure what drifted my interest, but I am pretty sure that it is the way I thought it to be – pristine and unique in form. All the barrier is your understanding capacity. Impact your brain to understand like a kid and you shall see plain mysteries. Tell your brain to understand it like an adult, and you will be able to see the underlying romance, thrill, adventure, horror, action and all genres you love.

 

Conan Artistic

 

If you really are a fan of Detective Conan, a.k.a. Case Closed, you can grab the ongoing anime with integrated English subtitles here. Use VPN if you are denied access. Opera VPN using location ‘Singapore’ worked fine for me. An episode is added every week.